Bad Times

I've been under the weather and it really sucks. This morning I slept really late and when I woke up, I had a difficult time just sitting up for the icepack. After my morning ritual, I had so much pain in my legs and back that I just wanted to scream as loud as I could, for as long as I could.

When I could no longer take it, I called Mickey in the bedroom and told him I was having a really bad time. He rubbed ointment on my back and stayed with me for a while. Before he could leave the room, I had to change positions. I couldn't do it on my own. My hands and legs were tingly and numb feeling, so with the pain, it was too much. I had to change positions because it was getting more painful by the second.

Mickey was trying to help but I was having a hard time and not speaking clearly so it was a little chaotic for a bit. Michael was there to see me in tears that I was trying really hard to hold back. I couldn't so I just let it out. I don't like my kids seeing this side of what this illness does to me but I'm not sure why. Maybe because part of being a mom is taking care of your children, being a nurturer and a care giver when they need it. Regardless, it was too late because the pain was excruciating. Once I moved to a better position, the tears were gone and the smile was back. That's just the way I cope with it. Smiling rather than crying. Making the best of a bad situation.

Mickey was great and I was soon on my back and able to get a little relief for a while. I had to change again before the half hour was up. Mickey helped me prop up against my pillows and I stayed in that position for quite some time. I was afraid to move because every other position was so uncomfortable and painful. Besides, I'm sure by then Mickey needed a much deserved break.

Around 6:30PM, I was finally able to see a little light at the end of the tunnel. The tingly, numbing feeling was only in my fingers and the side of my legs. That's a lot better than before. The back pain had gotten to a level of about 6 (out of 10), so I was finally able to sit in the chair.

Trying to read emails and ASAP from a little handheld thingy with Internet connection, is extremely difficult. I'll have worse vision, sooner rather than later. Sometimes I can send responses but most times I can't. I get frustrated because the darn thing moves so slow that I'd rather sit in the chair. At least by typing about 85 words a minute, I can type what I need to rather quickly and be done.

Kira doesn't have computer access at the moment but she has communicated that she's doing much better since the pain pump was implanted and will be starting school at the University real soon. Unfortunately, Keesha and Penny are both really under the weather and in need of your prayers. Thank you for these much needed prayers. Hopefully both will be feeling better soon.

It's actually weird to say we feel better when the reality of the situation is that we're truly not. Not better, I mean. Feeling better means getting the symptoms back to a tolerable level. It means feeling better from an extreme increase in symptoms or other complications that brings us down, or puts us in bed for hours, days or weeks at a time. I pray they are able to get back to a tolerable level. If they can do better than that, it's a much needed blessing that's well deserved.

I hope everyone had a great weekend!! Fun in the sun, or snow, depending on where you are in the world.