Update

I went to the ENT doc on (? can't remember the day, wow). I somehow got an ear infection so I had to stop the Debrox drops and replace them with Cipro drops. Cipro drops are an antibiotic that I have to take over the week and then go back to the doctor next week. I have a doctors appointment with pain management next week also so it will be a busy week.

Today, I'm going to get in the pool with the two grand kids, Tanira and Jaeden. I'll do my exercises and then just relax until I'm ready to get out. I got sunburned last time and the dried skin just fell off earlier this week. Hopefully, I don't get burned today. I have to set up a constant schedule for the pool because I have decided that I'm not going to continue therapy. Overall, I had fun but the price to pay was too high for me to continue.

This week, I was looking over all the progression that has occurred over the last two years (since this began). So much has happened that it's a blessing that I didn't get depressed all over again. In the depression department, I've come a long way too. I was crying and boo hooing all the time, at the drop of a hat. I realized that I have to give myself credit for how well I've started handling everything.

It's strange that I noticed myself getting to a point where I was struggling to deal with everything. I decided to mention it to Mickey rather than hold it all in. I was surprised that he started talking about things that we could do to keep me from shutting down (his words). It's hard and at times it becomes too overwhelming. I have to admit that it's too much to deal with on my own and allow other's to help me deal.

I need to focus more on how well I'm managing and less on what I've lost. Besides the pep talk, I took Ativan most of the day (yesterday) because depression was at an all time high by then. A few days of thinking about all I've lost and the one day of "the blues", will bring me way down every time.

It's good to be aware of how much I have progressed in two years. I don't need to dwell on it though. I look the same, I smile and laugh and it's hard for someone who doesn't know me to believe that there's anything wrong. I'm so comfortable with the wheelchair now that even I forget why I have it sometimes, until I stand and the tremors hit me with full force. I was able to see how much the tremors have progressed. Started pretty violent and then settled in one leg and sometimes the other. Now they're in all extremities. I had rest from the tremors when sitting and laying down. Now these feisty devils have invaded my sleep. Not only mine, they're so strong they wake Mickey up too. I feel bad for him because he then has to be up early in the morning for work.

Well, a small view of a much larger picture. That's one symptom that I've shown the progression of. I have many other neurological deficits and each one has progressed in some way. I'll say it again. I really need to give myself credit for being able to deal with everything that occurs, day in and day out, everyday.

Ssshhh! Don't tell anyone that I really don't have to deal with everything all the time. I sleep a LOT!!

Well, I better round up the crew (Mickey and Michael) so they can get me and kids in the pool. I suspect that any minute now the little munchkins will be beating down my door.

I hope everyone has a happy, safe and enjoyable 4th of July!