Sunday, September 28, 2008

Life Happens

On the 19th, my dear friend Cindy invited me (as a gift of friendship) to a Janet Jackson concert. I went with her, on the 20th, and we had a blast. I'll post pictures when I get a chance. I was completed surprised and excited although I knew it would take a lot out of me, I can't just put my life on hold because I have all these symptoms that try to take over my body and life.

I had so much pain, and the glaring lights were blinding as lights always are for me, it was unbelievable but how many more times will I have a chance to see Janet Jackson in concert. Being there with a close friend was more than I could ask for. It was exciting, thrilling and all the other wonderful words in the dictionary. The performance was AWESOME and the outfits were absolutely adorable, each and every one of them. The choreography was totally amazing and made me think of my daughter often throughout the performance. Keonna loves to dance and choreograph dance moves. She actually teaches young children to dance as well. It was so very well put together and I'm so very thankful to have a friend think of me in this way.

It takes a lot for a friend to manage being able to take for an outing. It takes a true friend to even think of going through all the trouble with the wheelchair. You have assemble and dis-assemble it because it's electric, you also have to connect the batteries. Being electric means the chair is heavier than a manual one also. I appreciate that my friend didn't let the thought of all this trouble prevent her from thinking of taking me to this concert with her. She figured I'd really enjoy and felt that I also could use the outing. I was deeply touched. She even bought my favorite drink from Starbucks with her, to start the adventure out right.

It's been a week and I'm still in the recovery process but I also had my regular weekly outing on Tuesday. It's been rough because I never really recovered from the first outing before I took the second outing. This is the part that depresses me about just doing something as normal as going to a concert or going out to dinner with my husband. I just don't bounce back right away. It takes a few days to get the pain under control. The numbness becomes more pronounced because when I'm sitting (even now typing this blog), I experience a lot of tingling up and down my spine. When I go to lay down, the nighttime pain, tremors and sensations are become totally unmanageable and unbearable.

If you live a completely active free life without even the slightest reaching, twisting or activity, you might have a chance at having the symptoms to a lesser degree. The bottom line is that there really is no way of knowing. I rarely ever get out of the house and I spend a great deal of my time trying to keep my symptoms at bay because I just can't stand all the symptoms that happen throughout the day. Doing nothing is no guarantee that the symptoms won't flare-up to a degree where they are unmanageable. As I mentioned, I spend most of my time doing nothing but I still have excruciatingly bad flare-ups where I want to go to the ER but experience has taught me that all the ER does is provide a temporary time of relief. Once the effect of the injection wears off, you're still stuck with the same symptoms that led you there for a week, a few weeks, a month, or several months. You never know what you're going to get.

That said, when the rare occasion comes up that I'm able to have an enjoyable outing with family and/or friends, why turn it down. Enjoying an outing means you'll pay for it later but you'll pay for it later whether you're out enjoying life or sitting (or laying in the bed) at home. I'm only 45 years old and I refuse to live like a person on their deathbed, even if it feels like that most days. I'm not on my deathbed and I am here among the living and can enjoy a good time, just like everyone else.

I can be in pain and experience life with all these horrible symptoms from anywhere. No matter where I am or what I'm doing, these symptoms are a part of my life. I may as well enjoy some parts of life along the way. I can lay in bed and be in pain or spend time laughing with a friend while still being in pain. Distraction helps just like using a TENS unit or an icepack.

I'll be sure to post photos from the concert when I feel better up to all the functioning it will take.

I hope everyone is having a TERRIFIC weekend!!

1 comment:

One Sick Mother said...

How cool to have such a great friend! I am sorry the concert exacerbated your symptoms. However, I hope the memories outlast the pain.

It is a shame you cannot keep up the water therapy. Is there no other place or agency you can use for this? The one you had sounds ...not-so great, but it seems a shame to miss out on therapy which may help you long-term just because of an idiot agency.

Hang in there

One Sick Mother