How I Manage Without Driving

I Don't!!!

I started driving late, while most kids started driving as soon as they could. It took a stormy, rainy day, carrying a three year (she was in child care at the college I attended) to school with me, for me to realize "I can and will drive".

I already had a "get started" car. You know, a beat up old car, so if I had an accident, I wouldn't feel bad about wrecking our new car. Besides, the new car was a stick and I really wasn't ready to drive one, yet. I decided to drive the day of the storm, but really all I did was start the car and turn it off, for at least the first few hours.

Later that day, after it stopped raining, I got in my car and drove to my family's house (my mom lived close by). My mom, sisters, brothers. and their families, could not believe I drove over. They really thought I was playing a trick on them. Well, they were literally in shock, and refused to believe. They called my house and Mickey was still at home, while the kids and I were standing right next to my car, then they believed.

The next day I drove to the DMV, took the written and driving test, and got my license. November 1989, I was 26 years old. It was such a wonderful feeling to drive and be able to go wherever I wanted without waiting for my husband, or others, to drive me around. After marriage, and having children, it was one of the happiest days of my life.

I never drove on the freeway. Two years later (1991), Mickey bought me a new car and I started working (I was being a mom until then). That's when I realized what a little social bunny I was. I couldn't believe that working was so much fun. I worked during the day and drove whenever (wherever) I wanted to, afterwards.

Two years (1993) after that, I had my first "real" highway experience when I drove, with the kids, to California and we've lived here ever since. Mickey came four months later with the furniture in tow.

I had to get use to driving on the freeway (WHEW!) but when I did, I went everywhere. The freeways in California were much easier than the highways in Chicago (I tried once or twice). My kids and I traveled all over California. I was able to take them to Disneyland and Knott's Berry Farm, which quickly became an annual family event. I haven't been since April 2006. We celebrated Tanira's birthday at Disneyland that year. I love amusement parks, I seriously become a kid again! HA HA!

In November 2005, I had just gotten a new car for an early Anniversary gift. I really liked this car and it was my third time experiencing the thrill and smell of a new car. I finally had a car that was the perfect fit and color, and I could no longer drive it.

No more "get up and go". Being unable to drive was one of the hardest things I had to adjust to. It's been two years (in Aug) and I still miss it. I don't like being stuck.

If I want something from the grocery store, I have two choices. Wait until Mickey is ready to go and hope I remember what I wanted (most times, I don't), or I can go with him and pick up whatever I want. Maybe I'll remember what I originally wanted. I can make a note, but I've forgotten, many times, what I wrote it on or where I put it. Sad, truely sad!!

If I want something from a clothing store, I'm out of luck. Mickey (like a lot of men) really doesn't like going to retail stores. I might get to go, once or twice a year. If I want something from Walmart or a store like that, he'll go for me, mostly to pick up coffee supplies. However, I might have wanted to go just to browse around, tough. Unless it's a grocery store, he doesn't want to go (seriously though, I do get to go to other stores once in a while). I might want to go visit my family, he never (even on weekends) feels like driving that far (45 min. to an hour).

Forget it, if I need hair supplies, running out of oil moisturizer is a nightmare for my hair. Well, I'm out now and for a month I've been hearing, "oh yeah, I'll pick some up for you". Hasn't happened yet and my poor hair is suffering. I do understand that I may not always get to travel to stores, especially for a few items. The wheelchair weighs 82 pounds and we don't have a chair lift. I'm sure it gets real tiring having to lift this chair every time I get in or out of the car. On the other hand, it leaves me very limited.

Like I mentioned before, I get out of the house once a week, for sure, and maybe on special occassions. If he feels up to it, I can get out for shopping or go out to eat. I definitely get out for doctor's appointments. It honestly makes me feel like such a burden.

I had to wait for my brother to visit from Chicago before I could visit my sister who lives in Las Vegas. It's a long, "hard" trip, but a sacrifice I'm willing to make for family. We have to make stops along the way, but it can be done.

We took a trip to Chicago last year for my mother-in-laws 80th birthday. It's a nice drive with terrific scenery, but I definitely couldn't and wouldn't sit in a car that long. Thank GOD for airplanes.

Anyway, I wanted to visit with my brothers and cousins. When arranging/planning the trip, we agreed that I'd be able to visit everyone I wanted to. Once we got there, he gave me one day. I admit, I was having a rough time, healthwise, but that was only enough time to visit with two people. Thank GOD, my brother made the trip to the suburbs to visit me and on my one day out, we met him for breakfast and a short trip to a mall.

The entire trip was spent with Mickey's family and that was not how we originally planned. I love them dearly and I love my family. You live and learn. I would have spent every day with my brother, if I were able to drive, and spent time with Mickey's family. Life stinks sometimes, thankfully, most of the time I'm able to smell roses.

Not driving is a lose of independence and a handicap in itself. A lot of the first six months of depression was over the loss of this independence. However, life does go on!