Alone Again

It felt great to have my MIL here to keep me company throughout the day. She left today and it's been a very sad day for me. I'm faced with the reality of being alone again, throughout the day, while everyone else is either at work, or school. I will miss my MIL so much. I ran out of ointment for my back a week ago, but I'll still miss having someone around to take time to rub down my back in the day time.

She filled my day with someone to communicate with, knowing someone was always here if I needed help, having someone to talk my depression phases out with, someone to laugh with, and so much more. In more ways than she'll ever know, she helped me to keep the pain at bay, when I could, or learn to manage it when I couldn't. Having someone here forced me to smile, rather than cry. I had a few moments of crying, but overall, I felt I had to keep my strength and spirit up so she wouldn't worry about me. Having her here was very therapeutic for me.

I'll miss all that she offered in the way. It's harder trying not to cry, when you're alone. There's no one here until later in the evening, so I don't have to be strong. I can just let go. I'd rather not because I personally feel so much better when I hide the suffering I'm experiencing from the pain, as strange as that might sound. The old saying, there's strength in numbers, might be a good example.

I hope everyone is having a Terrific weekend!