Update

I haven't been on in a while due to moving to a different location in the same city. I'm now connected again. What did we ever do before the Internet?!?

I've been experiencing intermittent spikes of intense, burning pain (it's been up to 8 and 9). The right-sided facial and leg numbness went away for a few days, but it returned Saturday. It's hard to keep a smile on my face and try not to invade everyone else's life with my illness. I have to remember that it is my illness, and this keeps me from burdening everyone around me. No matter how hard it is, it's important to me, that I don't impose too much on others. I have to remember that the less I depend on those around me, the better off our relationships will be in the end.

Don't get me wrong, when I really, really need help, I ask my loved ones. However, I try to do things myself, first. I'm only 45 but with a chronic, progressive illness, I know I'll get worse before I get better. If I burden my loved ones too much, they may not be around when I'm not able to do anything for myself. I'm not too far from there now (between the pain, tremors and other symptoms), but I'm not there yet. I do too much reaching and bending, all the time. Yes, I have a reacher and I need to remember to carry it with me, always. I'm getting there, slowly but surely. It's the reaching and bending that does the most damage.

My mother-in-law (MIL) is visiting now, for a month. It's been a while since she visited us last. We're always very happy to see her and have her visit. She has been very helpful during the move. I say, she's doing way too much. It does make me feel even worse that, at my age, I can't help out. Having her here has been a blessing but I have let her know that she's doing too much. She didn't come here to work, she came to relax and vacation.

She's also very helpful for me. I've had no one to rub my back down and she does. It's great and it helps for a while. Anything to help with the pain is a blessing. I have been up more in the last few days than I've probably been up the entire time I've been sick. I can tell too, my back is constantly on fire. I cry, sit on the porch, get on the computer, put on an icepack, talk on the phone or whatever it takes to help. The meds only do so much. My doctor says it's up to me to find ways to keep the pain level from 5 - 7 (with spikes of 8 - 9 out of 10) under control.

My friend, NL, came to help out on Saturday. With no hot water yet and no boxes in the house (yet) to unpack, there wasn't a whole lot she could do. She definitely helped out as much as she could though and it was a blessing. Unfortunately, my pain spiked up to around level 9 (burning, intense pain) and I had to hurry up and get to the bed while my MIL rubbed ointment on my back. I took Dilaudid (which I ended up taking the last one) and my normal meds to try to bring the pain down. I fell asleep rather quickly. Being up so long the past few days, I was depending on the Dilaudid to help with the increase in pain. Now, I have no choice but to follow the signs my body gives me when it's time to sleep, or rest.

I hope everyone had a fabulous weekend!