Thursday, July 17, 2008

Can I Please Have A Do Over

Why can't I just start over, without SM? When I have days like yesterday, I get really angry about the whole situation of living with SM. It takes a lot to know you have to live everyday in pain, and with debilitating symptoms. Then, out of no where, you get smacked with a day, a month or three months, of an increase in symptoms (flare-ups). During this time, it seems that every symptom you have, even those that come and go on occasion, are present and accounted for.

The entire day was absolutely miserable. Well, I had about an hour or so, after I woke up, where I was still hurting pretty bad after my morning routine (I've had trouble with symptoms for about three weeks now) but I was able to sit up. However, after that first hour, every time I raised my head, I felt dizzy and nauseous. Basically, every symptom, including the pain, appeared to be 100 times more powerful.

Later in the evening, close to bedtime but after dinner, I started feeling well enough to sit in a chair again. I was tired of either sleeping the day away, or being propped against several pillows feeling miserable.

Maybe I should say it louder, "I WANT A DO OVER!!!" I want my life back. The life I had, without SM.

I hope everyone has a lovely day.

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